


Hooked on all these feelings

by spooped



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Im actually kinda proud of this, M/M, Psych Ward, Why do I do this, cuteklance, i guess Shiro can be happy with Allura :/, im probably gonna kill Keith off lmao, keith - Freeform, keithhasissues, keithwantstodie, klance, lamceisasexynurse, lance - Freeform, mentalhospital, shallura - Freeform, suicidal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-02-18 05:54:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13093794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spooped/pseuds/spooped
Summary: Keith is admitted into a mental institute after he tries to commit suicide for the second time. He doesn’t realize how much better he’ll get in the mental hospital until he meets lance, his handsome nurse.——————Aka the Keith-is-suicidal-af-and-meets-his-lover-after-tryna-die fanfic that no one asked for





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heyooooo. So if you’ve read some of my other fan fics you know that I either always delete them or never finish them. WELL NOT THIS TIMEEEEE. I’m gonna actually finish it cause it’s really good so far Mkay. I hope you guys enjoy it!!! (Also, yes, the title is from a Hayley Kiyoko song)

“Hurry get him to the ER!” 

_Whats going on?_

“We’re losing him!”

_Where am I?_

——————————

Keiths vision focuses and unfocuses and he’s stuck in a cycle of confusion. Finally, his eyes open and is able to take in his surroundings.

He is in an uncomfortable bed with white sheets. There are white walls around him and a brown desk next to the bed. Hes hooked up to a heart monitor and the smell of death is very pungent.

A hospital.

Why am I here? He wonders.

“He’s awake!” Someone calls and Keith assumes it a nurse.

A doctor comes into the room and begins to check IVs and the heart monitor.

“That, my dear sir, was a very close call” the doctor says, a sense of humor evident in his voice. His name tag reads “Shiro”. 

“W-wha-“ Keith tries to manage but his throat and mouth is dry as shit and he can’t speak. 

“Ah yes, that’s common. Confusion, xerostermia... you’ve been in and out for a few days now.” The doctor says and he can’t understand a thing he means. Why am I here? Where is here?

“Here drink some water” the doctor hands him a glass and he tried to grab at it but his arms are shaky as hell and probably couldn’t grip a feather. Shiro realizes this and puts it on a tray in front of him with a straw in it. 

“Thanks” He mumbles and feels the water blissfully moisturize his throat.

“So would you like to tell me what happened?” The doctor said expecting an answer that Keith can’t give.

“I-uh” keith stumbles with words, confused as to why he expects him to know the answer “I was sort of hoping you would tell me that”

The doctor looks surprised and then lays a hand on Keith’s arm. 

“Keith. Man. You really don’t know why you ended up in the hospital?” Doctor Shiro said obviously conflicted as to why he has to be the one to tell keith. 

“You tried to commit suicide. Two days ago. You were rushed to the hospital after your roommate, Lotor came home to find you”

Suddenly it all rushes back to Keith. The feeling of loneliness, of not having a purpose. How his boyfriend, Lotor had hit him all over his back after they got into an argument. How he felt like he would never find love. How much he wanted to die. 

But here he is. Two vertical deep cuts running up his arms, connected through stitches. Still alive. 

“It’s a miracle you’re alive. You lost a lot of blood” the doctor says but Keith isn’t listening to him. He can’t get his head to stop pounding. He can’t stop the feeling of boiling hot blood rushing to his arms.

“Keith, are you okay?” The doctor says, and Keith comes back to reality at the sound of the heart monitor beeping like crazy.

“W-what does this mean for me now. When can I go home?” Keith asks and the doctor looks down at the ground.

“I think that you should take a cat nap first and then we’ll talk about what’s gonna happen.” Shiro says playing with his thumbs.

“Doctor. I feel fine. I want to go home.” He doesn’t want to go home to Lotor but at least that’s better than staying here with the smell of blood and death. 

“Keith. I really think you should rest.” Shiro says, obvious that he’s not joking around.

Keith is about to give in and do as he says but then his eye catches on the clip board beside his bed. 

**Keith Kogane**  
**21 Years old**  
**Birthday: October 21**  
**Reason for hospital entry: Attempted suicide**  
**Keith Kogane with be admitted into Altean Mental institute after hospital recovery**

Shiro notices where his eyes followed and starts to panic.

“Now keith, I really didn’t want to tell you until you were better but....” his voice starts to wander off.

_Mental hospital? They’re putting me... in a mental hospital?_

“We think that it’s best considering your... circumstance.”

Keith can’t hear him anymore. The only thing he can hear is the voice in his head screaming at him to get out. Get out before they trap us!

“Now, it won’t be that bad... you will be staying there for 8 weeks, minimum. But if things get worse with you, then, your stay will increase” 

Keith tries to talk but fails, his voice betraying him in a squeaking outburst. 

“Altea institutes is just a few floors above us now” 

“W-why?!” Keith shouts, utterly confused, feeling his throat become dry again. 

“I’m fine! I’m not suicidal anymore! I don’t need to stay there!” Keith screams and the nurses are already rushing in to give him sedatives. 

Keith automatically feels like throwing up but then the sedative takes over and puts him to sleep. 

“Everything will be okay, Keith” is the last thing he hears. 

————————

“Hey boss! He’s awaaaakkkkeeee!” Keith’s eyes stutter open at the sound of someone’s sing-song of words.

“Ah there he is” he hears a different voice say, it’s a calm females voice with a harsh accent.

The woman stands over him as she comes into view.

“Hiya there Keith! My name is Allura. I’m Altean institutes’ owner. I’m also a doctor here and I’ll be taking care of you for the next 48 hours!” 

Keith realizes that he isn’t in the hospital bed anymore. He’s in an office, laying on a couch.

“Your sister has already packed your things and I have searched through it and made sure that there were no bad things in there” Allura winks at him and Keith instantly remembers the conversation he had with doctor Shiro before he was put under. 

A mental institute.

“M-my sister put me in here?” Keith asks, thankful that his voice could somewhat clearly make words.

“She only wants what’s best for you, Keith.” Allura sighs sadly. “People don’t always want to be here. Some people emit themselves, others are dragged in here, kicking and screaming. But everyone leaves better”

Keith nods, surprised at how calm he is. The sedative must still be working into his nerves.

“Great! So I’ve introduced myself already. But this here, is my accomplice, Coran.”

“Hello there!” Coran smiles and extends his hand for Keith to shake.

He slowly pulls his hand out from under his blanket and reaches for Coran’s.

“Now, serious question. Do you like dance dance revolution?” Coran asks, smiling hugely at him. 

“Um I-“ Keith begins but is interrupted. 

“Because your nurse LOVES dance dance revolution so you’ll be playing it a lot. Trust me.”

“You’re my nurse?” Keith asks, slightly terrified because he doesn’t want to be around this happy crazy guy all the time for 8 weeks. 

“Unfortunately I’m not. You, sir, will meet your nurse later” Coran says, still smiling.

“Alrighty” Allura says “Now here’s the thing. We are going to get some paper work done, you and me, and then if you want, your sister is down in lobby, here to see you”

Keith knew this was coming. He doesn’t want to talk to his sister. He doesn’t want to see her. She’s going to be so disappointed. He’s her only family and he tried to take that away from her.

Keith can feel his heart racing and the sweat dripping down his forehead and Allura seems to catch on.

“Keith? Are you alright?” 

He should tell her that he doesn’t want to see his sister but he can’t just explain all of his problems to a stranger who’s trying to lock him up in a white room for 24 hours a day.

Instead he nods, and Allura reluctantly takes the bait and turns around to go fetch paper work.

He sits up and instantly his head starts spinning and he can’t see anything for a few seconds until his head starts to register what’s happening.

Allura hands him a pen and a clip board with paperwork on it. Most of it is things like his insurance information, where he lives, and health cards. But then he turns to the last page and it’s all personal questions.

**What is the reason for your stay?**

**Do you have any eating disorders?**

**Have you ever experienced abuse?**

**If so was it physical, mental, or emotional abuse? And by who.**

**Do you ever have hallucinations?**

**Do you have anxiety?**

**Do you get stressed a lot?**

Keith doesn’t know how to answer these and he guesses that he looks stressed because Allura speaks up.

“I know these kinds of questions can be hard but I need you to answer them truthfully” Allura says and Keith picks back up the pencil and starts with the easiest questions first.

Well the first one isn’t a secret.

**What is the reason for your stay?**  
_Suicide attempt_

 

**Do you ever have hallucinations?**  
_No_

 

**Do you have anxiety?**  
_yes_

 

**Do you get stressed a lot?**  
_yes_

 

Now for the harder ones. How is he supposed to answer these?

 

“Cmon Keith. Three more that’s it, easy peasy” Keith sighs and scribbles down his answers.

 

**Do you have any eating disorders?**  
_Yes. I’m anorexic._

 

**Have you ever experienced abuse?**  
_yes_

**If so was it physical, mental, or emotional abuse? And by who?**  
_All of the above. Inflicted by my boyfriend, Lotor._

 

Keith sighs and hands the clip board over to Allura when he finishes.

“There you go! See, that wasn’t so bad!” Allura says and Keith nods “Now let’s go down to see your sista”

Allura waves a hand in the direction of the door and he follows her out of her office.

They walk through the halls and Keith is able to take a glance into one of the rooms. It’s painted blue and has two beds, a bookcase, a desk, and a dresser set. And the door doesn’t have ten locks on it. Definitely not what he thought it would be.

She leads him out to the lobby where his sister is sitting on a chair, hands folded in her lap and a gaze so sharp it could kill someone.

“... Acxa” Keith sighs and his sisters head immediately turns towards him.

“Keith” Acxa says and gets up to rush towards him. She wraps his arms around him tightly and he wonders how many times she could wrap her arms around him considering his size. 

“Why? Keith. You told me you were better” Keith can feel warm tears on his shoulders “Y-you said you wouldn’t try that again”

Keith just wants to die. He loves his sister and she’s his only family. And he was just selfish.

“I’m sorry Acxa” is all he says and he lets her sob into his shoulder.

They stay like that for a while until Acxa is able to talk.

“Um so I brought your stuff” she says when they sit down “just some clothes and your favorite pillow and a few books... I can bring more if you want...”

“Thanks Acxa..”

“Keith I’m... I’m sorry that I had to put you in here. But I really think that it’ll help and I made sure that this was the best possible hospital I could bring you to and the nurses are nice and-“

“Acxa. It’s okay, seriously. I think it’ll help too” Keith smiles at her, a little reluctantly but he does believe that he can get better here.

They both avoid the topic of suicide; why Keith attempted again. She knows that he’ll get angry if she talks about Lotor and what he did this time.

“So what have you been up to in the past couple of days while I was... uh... out” Keith chuckles and Acxa gives him a death stare.

“Worrying about you!” Acxa says and punches his shoulder. Keith runs his neck and looks down.

“Oh yeah I guess there’s that” he says and then he spots Alluras long white hair in his vision.

“Hey I’m sorry to break this up but we have to get Keith settled down in here.” Allura says, extending her hand towards Acxa “I’m Allura, I’ll be looking over Keith for a bit as he’s getting situated”

“Acxa. Keith’s sister” she says and shakes Alluras hand and turns towards Keith again, “I guess I’ll see ya later kid. Don’t be getting into trouble or falling in love in here.”

“Ew Acxa” he chuckles and hugs her for the millionth time today.

“I’m glad you’re alive, kiddo” she says into his shoulder.

Acxa leaves and Keith is alone with pitying thoughts and Allura.

“Okay! So now we’re gonna go meet your nurse! He’s gonna be taking care of you after the two days you’re under my care” she says and he follows her to the hallway with all the rooms.

She stops and leads him into a green room “this will be your room. You’ll be rooming with our smartest patient, Pidge Holt” she smiles. She had already put the bag that Acxa brought on his bed.

“Oh! There he his” Allura says and Keith looks up from his bag to see a guy in blue standing at the doorway.

“Keith, this is Lance your nurse”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there. So when I used it post on AO3 it was wayyyy easier to italicize stuff and now it’s now and I have to code it and everything and I hAtE coding. And I write this on my notes on my phone and I’m able to italicize stuff on there but when I transfer it to AO3 it just comes out as normal writing ya know? So if there’s stuff that’s in first person and it isn’t italicized then just know it’s supposed to be. I tried my best to fix everything but anyways HERE YA GOOOO

“Keith, this is Lance, your nurse”

The man standing at the doorway is nothing like Keith imagined. He’s not big and fat and old and he’s not on his 30th year of working here. He’s... kinda cute.

Keith knows how attractive this nurse is and he knows how attractive he’s not, so he stumbles his way through everything he’s trying to say.

“H-Hi. Imma I’m uh...” _wait what’s my name? _“Keith! I’m Keith”__

__Lance doesn’t seem to notice how nervous he is cause he just walks into his personal space and grabs his hand._ _

__“Lance. Nice ta meet ya. I’m excited to be working with you”_ _

__“Likewise” Keith spits out, unsure of what else to say, thankfully Allura breaks the silence._ _

__“Yay! This is great. Now it looks like its time for lunch so let’s get going you two” Allura smiles at them and Lance looks at Keith and chuckles_ _

__“I’m sorry you have to put up with her happy ass before you can hang out with me, the better, cooler version of Allura”_ _

__Allura looks deeply offended at this and swats Lance’s shoulder and walks away, waving._ _

__“Hmpf! Fine then You can show him where the cafeteria is, Mr. cool dude!” She says and doesn’t turn back around as she stomps back into her office._ _

__Lance waves her drama act off and starts to walk when he knows that Keith will follow._ _

__“So what do you do?” Lance asks, cautious because he’s probably had some patients who definitely don’t like to talk._ _

__“Um... you mean like work wise?” Keith asks and lance nods “Well.. I’m in school right now sort of doing my own thing but I play guitar in a band and-“_ _

__“YOU PLAY GUITAR?” Lance grabs his shoulders “that’s the coolest thing ever!”_ _

__Keith’s eyes go wide at his touch and he has to shake himself out of his daze “uh.. erm yeah. But I’m not that good. Most of my time is taken up by college, ya know?”_ _

__“Yeah I totally get you. I was a total nerd in college and didn’t have any room for anything else but schooling so” he smiles at Keith “anyways, here we are, the cafeteria”_ _

__“Do I.. have to?” Keith asks and hopes that the answer is ‘no you can continue starving yourself’ but.. no._ _

__“Of course you do, silly” Lance grabs his wrist and leads him in._ _

The people here... they don’t look crazy. _Maybe they’re all just in the same situation I’m in._

__“Hey guys! This is Keith, the newbie” Lance sits him down at a table “and Keith this is Hunk, Ezor, Zethrid, and Pidge here is who you’ll be rooming with. Introduce yourselves and I’ll go get you lunch, Keith”_ _

__Lance walks away and pidge follows him with her eyes until he’s far enough away to where he won’t hear her._ _

__“I am so so sorry that Lance is your nurse. He’s such an idiot” Pidge rolls her eyes “we’re friends outside this place. He’s actually the one who told me to admit myself here to get better. So, here I am”_ _

__Keith nods, and the guy introduced as Hunk stretches his arm across the table “I’m Hunk. Um. Im a really good cook and most of the time they let me bake stuff for special occasions so you definitely have that to look forward to” hunk smiles at him and Keith grabs his outstretched hand and shakes it._ _

__“Well I’m Zethrid. I’m a looker, obviously” Beside her, Ezor hits her with her elbow “ow! Um and I’m dating Ezor so I’m totally off limits, right babe?” Ezor nods in approval at this._ _

At this Lance comes back with a plate of food that looks like... a lot.

_How am I supposed to do this?_

“Here ya go kiddo, made by the finest chefs in the country” Lance chuckles and puts the plate in front of him.

__“Um.. Lance.. I can’t... I..” Keith trails off and he feels like crying. Why can’t he just eat the stupid food?_ _

__“Dude you just spent 4 days passed out in a hospital you’ve gotta be hungry” Lance sighs and plops down next to him._ _

__“I’ve gone longer....” Keith says under his breath and Lance obviously catches it._ _

__“Well that’s not happening here. I’ll spoon feed you myself if you have to” lance says and crosses his arms._ _

__“Lance. He’s scared” Pidge says and Keith doesn’t protest at the ‘scared’ label because that’s exactly what he is right now._ _

__“Of me?! How can someone be scared of me?” Lance says and flings his arms wildly._ _

__“Not of you ya dingus. But I wouldn’t blame him if he is scared of you” lance scoffs “it’s scary here for a new comer lance. And when someone as anorexic as him gets sat down with strangers and a plate of food, it’s a lot for them”_ _

__Keith gets offended by how easily she can read him. How easily she can see how bad he is and how nervous he is to be here._ _

__“Okay fine. At least eat something. I don’t care how much of it you eat, but you’re not passing out on my watch” lance says._ _

__Keith nods and obediently picks up the fork and starts sifting through the food and then slowly starts to pile a small bit into his mouth, then carefully swallows and puts down the fork._ _

__“Oh come on! We cant give you meds if you only eat a morsel”_ _

__“Lance!” Pidge says and swats his shoulder, harder than Allura did “you can’t force him”_ _

__Keith is thankful for pidge’s back up but he knows he has to eat so he sighs and actually shovels a forkful into his mouth and chews and swallows._ _

__“Now that’s more like it! We’re gonna be good pals man” lance smiles at him and Keith thinks that it’s probably the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen._ _

__“Anyways Keith. So here’s the routine. I wake you up at 7am to go eat breakfast and then you have some down time to chill and then at 12 we have group therapy and then lunch and then Mondays and Thursdays you have one on one therapy with Allura or Coran and Wednesday’s and Fridays are art therapy days and then you have dinner and then you’re free to do whatever you want until 11 which is lights out”_ _

__“Okay... sounds good” Keith says and carefully takes another fork full of his food._ _

__After lunch is over Lance leads him back to his room and gives him some down time to unpack and chill._ _

__“Yeah sorry about this man. You’re kinda under surveillance for the next 48 hours so can’t really give you any privacy ya know?” Lance says and Keith just nods and starts to fold clothes and put them into drawers._ _

__He notices that Acxa put his picture frame of lotor and him in the bag. It was a picture taken when Lotor wasn’t an abusive boyfriend. When he took Keith places and when he smiled._ _

__“Oo! Who’s that? Your brother?” Lance asks moving closer to Keith and he scoffs._ _

__“No not really” Keith doesn’t really know what to do with the picture. He doesn’t love Lotor anymore, he doesn’t want a picture of Lotor in a place where he’s supposed to get better when every time he looks at the picture he’s reminded of that awful feeling of self pitying._ _

__“Can you umm.. can you” Keith doesn’t know what he’s trying ask of him. Throw the picture away? Smash it? So instead he just takes it out of the frame and rips it._ _

__“What? Wait? What?” Lance asks “why’d you do that?”_ _

__“It’s nothing” Keith says and finds the trash can and throws it away along with the frame “why would Acxa give that to me” Keith sits on the bed and puts his head in his hands._ _

__“What’s wrong with a picture man?” Lance sits down with him._ _

__“It’s... it’s nothing” Keith says and stands up to continue putting his stuff away and lance could’ve sworn he could see a twinkle of tears._ _

__————_ _

__That night Keith is left with guilty thoughts, unable to sleep. Lance said that he’s under surveillance and he sure is. Allura has been watching him like a fucking hawk. She’s currently sitting at the windowsill as he pretends to sleep._ _

__He tosses and turns realizing that’s he isn’t a very convincing sleeper and then Allura sighs._ _

__“It’ll get easier ya know. This whole sleeping in a place that you don’t know. I remember when I was watching Pidge her first night. She didn’t sleep all night and she silently cried, thinking that I didn’t know she was awake and now look at her. She’s made amazing progress in here and I know you will too”_ _

__Keith sits up and sighs._ _

__“It’s not that I can’t sleep in a place that I don’t know. I’ve done that for most of my life... I just..” It’s the nightmares. Every night without fail his nightmares traumatize his dreams and he never wakes up without sweat dripping down his back. And now he doesn’t have Lotor to be preyed on by (because Lotor was a good distraction)._ _

__“Do you want some ZQuil? I can at least let you have that” Keith nods and Allura leaves and comes back with the medicine. She puts it in the measuring cap and gives it to him. “Not usually supposed to give you stuff without a medical doctors approval but you looked like you needed it so”_ _

__“Thanks” Keith mumbles and downs the medicine. He lays back down in bed and quickly falls asleep._ _

__—————_ _

__The next morning lance wakes Pidge and Keith up with his sing-song voice._ _

__“Wakey wakeeyyyyyyyyy!!!” He sings and opens up the blinds to pretend he’s breathing in the sun._ _

__Keith pulls the blankets over his head, angry about how he has to wake up when after he was finally able to sleep._ _

__“KEEEEEIIITHHHHH” lance comes over to Keith’s bed to shake him awake but Keith pushes the blanket off enough to only show his messy hair and demon eyes staring right into his soul telling him ‘don’t you fucking dare’_ _

__Lance jumps back a bit scared and whispers to Pidge “Psssssttt. SOS” BUt she only ignores him and starts to tidy her hair for breakfast._ _

__“Leave that poor boy alone!” Allura walks in, scolding Lance._ _

__“B-But breakfassstttttt” Lance whines._ _

__“Cmon it was his first night here if he wants to skip out on breakfast to sleep and wait till lunch to eat then that’s fine by me”_ _

__“But Alluraaaaaaaaa”_ _

__“Lance get out of here”_ _

__Lance pouts and leaves the room with Allura and a sleepy Pidge trailing behind him giggling behind his back._ _

__Keith is left alone again and unfortunately none of them had closed the blinds that Lance had so rudely opened._ _

__He grunts and gets up to close them when he figures he could kill some time instead of sleeping. He fortunately got out of breakfast so he moves over to his things to find his engineering book to study. Despite his suicide attempt he still has school to get back to once this is all over._ _

__He starts to draw out his ideas and soon enough a few hours have passed and papers are strewn everywhere. Little pictures are forming bigger pictures and he’s got himself a grade A project._ _

__“knockedy knock knock” lance says instead of actually knocking barges in “-WOAH WHATS THIS” he looks at the floor and then at Keith’s confused eyes, then back at the floor, then at Keith’s hair in a tight pony tail._ _

__“Oh yeah... this. Um sorry for the mess just figured I could kill time. I major in engineering so I.. yeah-“_ _

__“These sketches are amazing!” He picks up one of the papers “Your ideas are brilliant” he reads over one after another, studying Keith’s blueprints of a hovercar, robot lions, and his BLIP technology._ _

__“They’re really nothing. It’s just stuff a kid could imagine and make a sketch with crayons” he chuckles and rubs his neck._ _

__“No they really are something” lance laughs “how do your professors like not make you famous?”_ _

__Keith shrugs, not wanting to argue with him about how he really can’t do shit._ _

__“Well anyways we’re having group therapy now if you would like to join us” lance says._ _

__Keith looks at him conflicted in scrunches his eyebrows saying ‘please don’t make me talk to people’_ _

__“It’s not that bad! I promise I’ll be next to you the whole time” lance pats Keith on the back motioning for the door._ _

__“So why do you do engineering” Lance asks, arms innocently behind his back trying to slowly get stuff out of Keith._ _

__“Um I don’t know, I’ve always liked to build things. When I was a kid it was the only thing that the other kids didn’t really bother to steal”_ _

__“Other kids?”_ _

__“Yeah. I um..” Keith stutters not sure if he could trust Lance “I grew up in an orphanage. Everyone else got adopted, and then there was me. When I was seventeen my sister Acxa found me”_ _

__Keith instantly regrets telling Lance that much. He doesn’t want to know Keith’s sob story._ _

__Lance’s voice snaps him out of the guilt “So Acxa is your biological sister?”_ _

__“Um yeah... she found me and told me about how our parents ditched her at the age of five at an orphanage. When she turned eighteen she set out to find me.”_ _

_Why is it so easy to tell this guy stuff?_

__Fortunately, Allura ends their conversation._ _

__“Hey Keith you ready for group?” Keith shrugs and walks into the room after Allura._ _

__“Hey guys this is Keith” He notices that there’s a lot of people he doesn’t know so he shyly waves at them and when they don’t wave back he panics and notices Pidge and Hunk and takes a seat next to them._ _

__“Good choice man” Pidge says referring to the fact that he didn’t talk to anyone else._ _

__ALance takes a seat next to Keith and raises his eyebrows._ _

__“Lance get your ugly ass outta here” pidge hisses at him and he looks genuinely offended until he scrunches his eyebrows and starts to shove Pidge playfully_ _

__Pidge raises her Eyebrows daringly and shoves lance back._ _

__“You two! Stop that” Allura says “jeez sometimes I feel like I’m dealing with a bunch of children!”_ _

__“Sorry Allura” they say in unison and then glance at each other at the same time and start giggling. Allura sighs at them and then clears her throat, ignoring the mess of children._ _

__“So welcome to group Keith. For today you don’t have to talk but it’s a good effort to do so” she smiles at him and he nods and looks back down at his hands._ _

__“Okay so today’s topic is family. It can be a touchy subject for some of you but don’t be afraid to share”_ _

_Of course I have to be here the day they talk about my most touchy subject._

__Lance gives him a knowing sad look and then clears his throat._ _

__“Um Allura I don’t think that’s the best-“_ _

__“Lance” She grumbles._ _

__“But Allura-“_ _

__“Lance” she interrupts him again and he sinks back down in his chair._ _

__Allura, obviously oblivious to Keith’s family situation starts talking about her family._ _

__“I grew up with my mom and dad and a sister. My dad worked in the military and my mom was a stay at home mother. My sister was just a brat who bullied me everyday” she earns a few chuckles with that “so who else wants to share?_ _

__“Wellllll I grew up with my mom and dad and my brother Matt, who most of you know from him visiting all the time. And I would like to say that he would appreciate it if people would stop hitting on him _cough cough_ Nyma” Pidge says and the girl that Keith assumes is Nyma sticks her tongue out at pidge.__

____“I grew up with my mom. My dad left when I was young and didn’t have any siblings. But it was okay because my mom spent a lot of time with me and taught me how to cook.” Hunk says and rubs his belly smiling._ _ _ _

____“Keith? What about you?” Allura asks and Lance shakes his head but Allura acts as if she didn’t see that._ _ _ _

____Keith already has his head down and playing with his thumbs awkwardly, trying to think of a happy family story about how he was adopted as a baby and how his family loved him but Lance interrupts before he has to spew out lies._ _ _ _

____“I grew up with mi Mamá and mi papá. I have 2 sisters and 3 brothers” lance smiles at Allura and she stares at him accusingly._ _ _ _

____Keith looks up for the first time and smiles thankfully at Lance._ _ _ _

____After group Lance is talking to Allura and then comes up to Keith “hey dude you have a visitor”_ _ _ _

____Lance walks him to the lobby and tells him he’ll wait by the desk._ _ _ _

____Keith looks around for Acxa but when he doesn’t spot her, he’s confronted by shiny silver hair._ _ _ _

____“Hey kid” teeth glare at him._ _ _ _

____“L-Lotor?”_ _ _ _


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this is kinda cringey. I was just trying to get a chapter out there. But I’m out of town right now and that’s why I haven’t been writing as much so yeahhhh. If you think that it’s all flowing too fast leave your opinions down in the comments because I appreciate your loud input a latte ^-^

“L-lotor? What are you doing here?”

“Well to see my boyfriend of course! Acxa told me where you’re staying and said to stop by”

Lotor snakes his hand around Keith’s waist and Keith squeezes his eyes shut. He knows that Lotor can’t do anything to him here but he’s still scared out of his mind.

Keith can see Lance’s eyebrows raise at the words exchanged between them and Lotors actions.

“Why’d you do it huh? You pussy. You’re so bad at life you couldn’t even die right” he hisses into Keith’s ear and he flinches, trying to get out of Lotors grip.

“What’d you do? OD? Hang yourself? Slit your teeny tiny wrists? Well whatever it was, you obviously couldn’t do it right you stupid orphan” 

Keith can feel tears well up in his eyes and Lotors grip becomes tighter. He can feel everyone’s eyes in the lobby on him and Lotor doesn’t seem to care.

“L-Lotor... Stop” Keith whimpers out and suddenly he feels stronger arms wrap around him and pull him back.

“I will be expecting you to leave and not return here during Keith’s stay. If you don’t leave I’ll call security” Keith hears lance say even though it’s all distorted. He can feel his arm protectively around his shoulder, a different feeling than when Lotor touches him.

“Hey! Who do you think you are mate?” Lotor says stepping into Lance’s personal space. “I can do what I want to. Besides, we were just catching up right Keithy?”

“I uh..” Keith scrambles for words knowing that if he were to say anything that Lotor didn’t want him to say he would get socked in the face as soon as lance let’s him go, but thankfully he doesn’t let him go and he speaks up before Keith has to.

“Didn’t sound like conversation to me. I’ll repeat myself. If you do not leave I will call security” Keith can feel Lance’s steady heart beat against his back thudding louder and louder.

“Whatever. You won’t have this dude to be your body guard when you get out, Keith” lotor glares at them one more time and Keith can see that look in his eyes. The look of destruction. The look that says ‘I could take out you and this guy but you’re not worth my time’

Lotor looks like he’s about to turn around and leave and lance loosens his grip a bit but lotor takes a big step forward and uppercuts his fists straight into Keith’s gut.

Keith can’t hear anything but the other people in the lobby gasping. he’s doubled over in pain and can’t breath. He can somewhat feel Lance by his side guiding him to a chair.

Lance glares at Lotor and Lotor glares right back. He wants to sock lotor in the face 5 million times but he knows there’s a chance he’ll lose his job if he does that.

Suddenly he doesn’t have to as he hears security rushing down the stairs. They come up on Lotor and take his arms, securing them and guiding him out the door.

Lance rushes over to Keith and smiles at him.

_That damn smile._

“Wow he sure is mean. But he’s gone now, you don’t have to worry about him anymore” Lance helps Keith up and he can feel his breath slowly returning. And his brain is only now just registering what happened.

He’s relieved that Lance doesn’t further him with questions like he thought he would. ‘Who was that guy’ ‘Why does he hate you so much’ ‘Should I beat him up for you’ etc.

“Hey are you guys okay?” He hears Allura rushing up to them and she slings her arms around Keith. He nods while still clutching his stomach.

“Can I have a phone? To call my sister?” Keith asks and it’s the only thing on his mind. Why did Acxa send the one person he hates here.

Allura nods and guides him to the lobby desk with the phones. Keith dials her number and impatiently waits for her to pick up.

“Hey Keith whats u-“ 

“Acxa. Why did you tell Lotor to visit me?” Keith breaths heavily into the phone and Acxa les out a sigh.

“Keith calm down. I’m sorry I told him to go I-“

“Why Acxa?”

“I thought that if he knew you were okay it would bring old lotor back. He would realize that you tried to commit suicide because of him”

“Yeah? Well that plan sure worked out great. He just threatened me and punched me in front of the whole god damn facility Acxa!” Keith hisses into the phone, fuming with anger “You also put a picture of us in my bag. Why would you think that would help me?”

“Well if it isn’t your boyfriend that would help you why the hell are you with him!” Acxa screams into a phone and Keith doesn’t know how to answer the question. She’s asked it a lot. Why is he with him if he doesn’t love him.

He can feel himself start to cry. “I don’t know Acxa” he says and hangs up the phone and tries to remember his way back to the hallway with the rooms.

He regains his strength to walk and makes his way back to his room, he can feel Lance and Allura’s eyes on him, unsure if they should follow, but they don’t and Keith is finally alone, able to collapse himself on his bed that isn’t his and cry into a pillow that is probably stained with somebody else’s tears. 

——————

Keith is jolted awake by a soft knock at the door. He realizes that he fell asleep covered in his own snot and tears.

“Hey Keith?” It’s lance. Keith panics and wipes his bloodshot eyes, unable to cover up the fact that he’d been crying.

“Y-Yeah?” He stutters out surprised at his wimpy voice.

Lance walks in and dances around all the papers on the floor from earlier that day and collapses on the bed.

“I still have to watch over you ya know” lance chuckles, playfully shoving Keith “Allura came in earlier to call you out for dinner but you were asleep so you have successfully skipped out on breakfast, lunch, and dinner” 

Keith grimaces at that. He can’t even tell if he’s hungry, it’s been so long since he’s experienced that.

“Soooooo I’m supposed to take you down to the diner to get ya something” lance clasps his hand on Keith’s back and he sighs “you can’t starve yourself forever kid”

“Wanna bet?” Keith rolls his eyes and Lance shoves him out the door and into the direction of the dining hall.

Keith can tell that Lance wants to make conversation. Ask about today, what happened with Lotor, why someone could hate him so bad, etc etc... but for now he keeps his mouth shut and just guides him to the empty, dark, cafeteria.

“So what are some of your skills?” Lance asks and it’s a different approach to questions that Keith didn’t really expect.

“Um well you know my love for design. I can also do anything with a knife” Keith says and it surprises him how that doesn’t trigger flashbacks to the two vertical stitches on his arms.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know like tricks and stuff, if I was put up to the test I could kill a hundred men with just me and my knife. I’m also killer at the knife game” Keith chuckles and Lance looks worried that he’s got a killer on his hands “oh no don’t worry I’ve never hurt someone with my knifes, it’s just a skill I have that I use on things like dummies”

Keith looks down at his hands and lance disappears to turn on the cafeteria lights and into the fridge to pull him out some food.

“Here” lance slides him bowl filled with chef Boyardee and two plastic forks. “I can’t exactly give you a knife to do this with but can you use a fork?”

“To do what”

“The knife game!” Lance looks at him like a happy fool as if he’s never seen someone with such talent. 

“Um yeah. Sure” Keith slides away the food and picks up one of the forks and Lance looks at him expectantly.

Keith sighs and starts singing the tune to the knife game while putting the fork in between each of his fingers. He slowly starts speeding up and when he’s going really fast he looks up at Lance’s goofy face and smiles and then he closes his eyes and speed up even more. He starts to flip the fork in his hand and going faster and faster until the song is over and he stops. 

He pants a sigh of relief, trying to get oxygen back into his lungs and then opens back up his eyes to see Lance’s amazed face.

“Wow dude that was awesome! You gotta teach me how to do that” Lance chuckles and holds out his fist for Keith to fist bump and it takes him a second to understand what Lance wants him to do but then he raises his fist also and pounds it against Lance’s. 

“I’m better with a knife. The weight of it helps me do more tricks during the game and helps me to get even faster” Keith laughs and slides his food back in front of him.

“So what else can you do?” Lance asks and without Keith even noticing what he’s doing he puts the fork into the food and easily eats it as if it’s nothing.

“Well I can fly. Pretty well actually. I wanted to be a pilot before I got into engineering” 

He takes another bite of the food. Lance notices this and he figures that with all the conversation Keith is completely distracted from the guilty thought of eating. 

“That’s pretty cool. Maybe when you get out of here you could fly me around one day” 

Keith’s face completely heats up. Why does this man that he doesn’t even know want him to take him up in a plane? 

He tried to open his mouth but it’s just a whole bunch of different stuttery forms of ‘yEs’.

Before they know it Keith has eaten the whole bowl and it’s completely forgotten of and they’re still having conversation without even touching the subject of Lotor.

“So what do you do?” Keith asks Lance and he sighs.

“Psychology isn’t really my dream job. In an unlogical world I’d be an astronaut. Always wanted to be one since I was a kid. I’d run around the house in a space helmet for hours and would only take it of before bed. But that dream died after I realized how unlogical it is” 

Keith nods, understanding how he feels.

“But I’m a great sharpshooter, I can shoot at anything and I never miss. I’m also great at basketball, no one could beat me when I was in highschool” Lance gets back to his smiley self and Keith notices that he likes this Lance, the one that talks to him about life instead of nurse Lance, who forces him to eat. But he does respect and understand the need of the balance.

Lance checks the clock on the wall and it reads 1:34 AM 

“Awe jeez it’s late, I’ve gotta get you to bed before Allura takes this fork and cuts into my chest to steal my heart” Keith laughs at this and stands up to put the bowl away, still not realizing that the food in it is completely gone. 

Lance walks down the hallway and opens the door to Keith’s room quietly so that they don’t wake up pidge. 

Lance sits up on the edge of the windowsill like Allura did the night before, so that he can watch over Keith, even though seeing as how tonight went he doesn’t need a watch dog. 

Keith collapses into bed, feeling an unfamiliar weight of tiredness, and the last thought he has before he sleeps is Lance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy, havent seen ya in a while, sorry this chapter is short. Wanted to end it on a cliff hanger 

(Lance’s POV)

Two weeks goes on like that, today just like the day before and the day before that. Keith and Lance grow closer and he’s able to express himself towards Lance in a way that he’s never done with anyone besides Acxa.

Keith allows himself to talk about Lotor. About how he’s gay and has a boyfriend who used to be his lover and a friend. How he used to care about him and how he met him right after he was rescued from the orphanage by Acxa.

He notices that Lance isn’t nearly as close with his other patients as he is with him. Lance always sits next to him in group, watches his amazing art skills at art therapy and waits to see how one-on-one therapy went with Allura. Keith doesn’t find it strange because he’s never known anyone who wouldn’t do this besides Lotor. It’s normal behavior to him because Acxa treats him like this all the time. 

Even though Lance doesn’t have to be around Keith all the time, he is. There is no 24 hours a day surveillance on Keith and he’s noticeably getting better (stamp of approval by Allura of course). 

Meanwhile, lance doesn’t know why he’s around Keith all the time, there’s just this thing about him that’s so intriguing and interesting and he can’t stop listening when Keith talks about himself. 

Allura seems to catch on and starts watching lance when he’s around Keith and eventually throws in the towel and pulls lance aside and into her office while he’s walking and talking with Keith.

“Give me a sec” Lance says, holds out a finger and turns around and into the hallway to Alluras office.

He enters the room and the smell of strawberries instantly hits him. He hates that smell. He plops into a chair and starts playing with the loose fuzzies on the uncomfortable chair.

“Lance-“ Allura starts but then gets interrupted

“Allura. You know the only time I like getting pulled into your office is when-“

“‘When there’s a paycheck involved’ I know, I know” she interrupts right back “but I’m kind of concerned about.. something”

Lance raises an eyebrow at this. Allura has never had to talk to him about his actions before. He’s always been a grade-A employee.

“You’ve been around Keith... a lot.. lately. And you know that you can’t... You know you’re not allowed to... date... him... right?” 

Lance gasps and puts his hand over his heart dramatically “Allura. Do you really think I would have a little crush on one of my patients?” Lance rolls his eyes “he’s just a cool dude to talk to. He’s not just a suicide patient to me... he’s a friend”

Alluras worry seems to deepen in her eyes “A friend? Lance, patients are patients. Not pals to go to the bar with” 

“I know that Allura it’s just-“

“No lance. No exceptions, patients are patients.”

“But can’t you tell that he’s gotten a whole lot better since he’s gotten here? Don’t you think that has to do with me? At least a little?” Lance starts waving his hands around, annoyed about the fact that Allura is annoyed.

“Lance. You’ve gone too far with it.” 

Lance dips his head down, sighs, then nods and aggressively pushes out of the chair and heads out the door.

“What does she know?” He grumbles and then thinks to himself why Keith is so important. Why he’s not just a patient. And that’s when he decides that he’s not important to him. That Keith really is just a patient here for only 6 more weeks. 

Deep in his thought lance is startled when he walks out of the hall that leads to Alluras office and straight into Keith.

“Hey- oh sorry!” Keith scrambles and picks up the dropped books on the floor “uh how did the thing with Allura go?”

Lance involuntarily scoffs at him, avoiding eye contacting at the small, fragile boy on the floor, who he’s about to hurt. The scoff shocks him a bit, his hostility unusual.

“It was fine. What do you care?” Lance says and Keith stops and scrambles himself off the floor, hurt evident in his eyes. Lance had been with Keith for everything since he got here and vise versa and now all of a sudden he is acting like Keith is the gum on the bottom of his shoe.

“Uh um I-“ 

“You’re not my friend, Kogane. You’re my patient. I’m supposed to make sure you wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night without committing suicide or starving yourself so are we clear”

Keith can feel the tears well up in his eyes but wouldn’t dare let them fall. “I never said we were friends” is all he says and turns around. After the first few steps he allows himself to cry.

———————

Sitting alone at night, in his comfy bed, in his comfy home, lance thinks about Keith. Thinks about the things he’s told him. Thinks about Acxa and Lotor. Thinks about Keith parents, abandoning him as a baby on the front steps of an orphanage, with only a letter telling him his name and birth date.

Inevitably his mind plays and replays the ‘fight’ that they had after he got out of Alluras office. How selfish he was acting. And how he really is Keith’s only friend in here.

He can tell that Keith doesn’t like to get close to people, and somehow he got close to Lance. He trusted him not to break his heart, and he did.

Lance thinks back to when Keith turned around and left, how he could barely hear a sob forming in his throat and how he didn’t grab onto his shoulder, turn him around and apologize.

What had gotten into him? Maybe it was Lance’s inability to admit that maybe, just maybe he had a crush on Keith. But that’s for young high school students, walking down halls and blushing wildly trying not to let on that they like that person. 

Lance didn’t want that. He didn’t want to accept the fact that he might have a thing for guys (despite his constant flirting with girls) and he might have a thing for his patient.

_What am I thinking?!_

It’s insane for him to like his patient. But what about after he gets out of the hospital... it wouldn’t be a crime then, would it? But it’s no use, lance ruined any possible chance for anything. So, what could he do? His ego is too big to apologize even though he knows he should, but he’s still Keith’s nurse.

Making a rash decision he jumps out of bed and throws clothes on, shoving his phone in his pocket and putting on a watch reading 12:34 AM, instantly deciding to rush to the hospital and wake Keith up.

But what would he say when he got there? I’m sorry I’m a dick? I like you like me back bitch? He shrugs off what he’s going to say and figures that’s a future-Lance-problem™️.

Shoving himself into his car he speeds down the highway, not knowing how the hell he got here or what he was doing, turning on the radio full blast to drown his problems away. 

The drive to the hospital only took 10 minutes, considering the fact that he was going 70 MPH.

Throwing himself back out of the car he opens the doors to the hospital quite dramatically and nods a quick hello to the receptionist.

Instantly he feels something wrong and moves a bit faster towards the elevator, impatiently waiting for it to open.

When it does he continues to impatiently wait for it to get onto Keith’s floor. He goes through the dimly lit hallways, searching through his memory to remember where Keith’s room was (which wasn’t hard because he’s been there a lot this past week) 

When he gets to the door he figures that Keith isn’t asleep, considering his insomnia so he throws open the door and turns on the light.

“Keith I-“ 

Lance instantly stops and drops down to the floor, words scrambling together as his eyes fall upon a bloodied small boy fallen on the floor, next to an empty bottle of pills and several blades.


End file.
